Curse

Mistress Eyahl · Sep 02, 2005, 01:30 AM // 01:30

Personally I would bury the penguin with her. Sounds fickle, but because of the penguin she wasn't alone when she passed. She probably grabbed it because it was the thing that reminded her of you the most and she wanted to take it..you, with her. I couldn't bear to make her part with it.

Give it some time and do what you feel best doing.

Kamikaze Cletus · Sep 02, 2005, 04:52 AM // 04:52

Although I haven't directly experienced a loss like you have, I can see what it would be like if I had. I'm sorry to hear that. Even though it's sad, I hope you can move on. I would keep some pictures and put the bear with her. Good idea posting it here, most people with the exception of Ozz, seem to be supportive. Good luck to you, and I hope things turn better.

Antilles · Sep 02, 2005, 06:10 AM // 06:10

Not to thread hijack or anything, but just to relate Zehly, I found out yesterday two of my friends were trampled and drown to death in New Orleans. And even now people are being beaten, raped, and murdered. Honestly. I'm scared. This is the sort of thing I'd expect to see in some movie where zombies inhereit the Earth and everyone turns on eachother. By no stretch of the imagination did I expect this here in real life. Is this a glimpse of what's going to happen if something like this occured on a much larger scale? Is humanity just going to turn on itself? It's a horrible thought and it scares me.

Mystical · Sep 02, 2005, 06:34 AM // 06:34

I just have to say I've never shed a tear via reading forums, but this whole thread has done just that.

zehly and to all others who have lost in this unfortunate event, I want to give my full blessings too. Being in Canada and no releatives down south, I cannot even begin to comprehend what you are going through, but I do want you to know that your Northen Brothers are always an arm-strech away.

Howling Wind · Sep 02, 2005, 11:54 AM // 11:54

My prayers and condolences, may Eileen's soul rest in peace and hope you recover soon from this trauma. Death is something that's hard to bare but were forced to move on, memories of her past that make you cry now will later make you smile.

Keep the penguin and hold it as a last memento.

Cheer up, be around people and talk to them.

Armada Hunter · Sep 02, 2005, 12:48 PM // 12:48

That REALLY sucks. Hope you get better soon. ;(

EnDinG · Sep 02, 2005, 02:39 PM // 14:39

I'm going to say I'm sorry to hear about how this hurricane has hurt so many people in physical and emotional ways. When nature decides to take a swing at humanity with all of her force, we will suffer.

Time makes us stronger, makes us prepared for the future and outcomes of life. We learn and use this knowledge to keep ourselves and each other safe.

People who mean the most to us are those who have affected our lives just as much. A friend is always the hardest to lose. Because you know they understand you, and will always be there for you. Real friends never lose contact with each other, they strive to keep one another in their thoughts and to lend that hand when needed.

I've got to say, that while I'm extreamly sad to hear about the deaths that took place, I can also say that your alive zehly. You think about her and all shes done for you, all shes helped you with, and so much more. If you did go and stay with her durning the storm, we would have never felt the power of your story and make all of us a little more aware of how fragile a life is. Right now, I personally feel the need to shake the hand and give a hug to a friend I've known for 20 years. (Since Kindergarten).

I'm happy your alive.

My only advice is talk to someone. Anyone. A parent, friend, even a stranger sitting by themselves in a coffee place. Theres always that elderly person by themselves, sitting there watching people and drinking their coffee. Ask if you can sit with them and tell them about a friend of yours who passed away in the hurricane, let them know it they can help you. Everyone likes to try and help, and listening is one thing anyone can do.

*Hugs* My heart goes out to you,
Clint

*Edit*
I cleaned up this thread. Bottom line, if its not nice, you do not say it.

zehly · Sep 02, 2005, 03:37 PM // 15:37

*UPDATE*
Yesterday afternoon, I took the advice of many of you and paid a visit to my psychologist and my psychiatrist in the same session. First off, I'm not afraid to admit that I see them. I'm not the first, and I won't be the last.

I'm going to be in contact with them every day, at their request, so they know I'm safe. I've had instances in the past after bad things.. like.. well, you can imagine, if you're a girl.

So for the many of you who are worried about my well being, know that I'm going to be taken care of, and have established a strong support mechanism in the event that I don't feel secure anymore.

I see the news every day, and know that the loss of life is great; probably greater than is known already. I know too that many of you are in similar situations as me... I for one can tell you that I know how you feel.

I have lost many, many things. Most importantly, Eileen. Someone who literally saved my life. I have nightmares. Those are to be expected.

For once, I feel like I'm just rambling on senselessly.. it's all I can do, really. I usually try to write cohesively, but I feel my words, like my thoughts, are clouded.

I want to thank you all for your support. It means so much to me. Reading this forum makes me both cry and smile at the same time... hard for a girl like me to do.

Someone above said they didn't think I should be seeking support online. Get real. I want the world to know about Eileen. How important she was to me. It's the least I can do for her. And right now, it's about the best I can do for me.

C'est une nuit blanche.

The penguin will be buried, because it is not fair of me to take back something I gave her with all my heart. I hope that whatever divine being there may be will keep her company in the afterworld, as she waits for my arrival--however long it may take.

I have come to realize, as a result of 12 hours of sobriety, that her time with me on this world is mortal. But her time with me in my heart is immortal. I'm not sure what I'm saying really, or what I might mean.. it's clear to me.. I hope I don't sound stupid.

I want to thank the moderators (you know who you are) that have kept this thread clean. This thread is very, very important to me, and Eileen would be honored by your words.

I will try to post tomorrow. I'm going to try to stay sober. Eileen hated it when I would get drunk..

Your,
zehly

Dame&Beast · Sep 02, 2005, 03:50 PM // 15:50

I have already sent you a message my dear Zehly....But I wanted everyone here to know that I truly think you are a very strong young lady.... I have lost very few people close to me in my time on this Earth...but I truly hope that once I do I handle it with even an ounce of the strength I think you posess. To speak so freely of your love to anyone who will listen shows more heart and more strength then I think most people are ever willing to admit they have. Do stay sober, for Eileen would want you to think clearly, and besides do you really want her up there cussing you out for being drunk

Be proud of yourself Zehly for not crawling in bed and pulling the covers over your head

I am proud of you Sunshine

~~Dame~~

Robos Stavanis · Sep 02, 2005, 03:56 PM // 15:56

I saw this yesterday, but did not have the words to reply. Here I sit today, and I still don't. Everythig I think of falls hollow. I tried putting myself into your place, and can't imagine the worry, and then the anquish you have been feeling. I am so very sorry for your loss, and if I could wish for you anything, it would be the peace of mind that you know that she will always be with you in both your heart and mind. Knowing that is not the same, but praying that will be enough to ease you through this terrible loss.

midnyte13 · Sep 02, 2005, 04:43 PM // 16:43

Dear sweet Z,

there are no words I can type here to impart the tremendous feeling of sorrow I have for your loss. I can only say I am sorry you must now go through this. the GWG community is here for you now and always. The best tribute you can perform now is Rememeber her always and let others not forget her. And Love is not conveyed in words. She knew.

~hugz, try to rest.

~M

3dd1e · Sep 02, 2005, 09:55 PM // 21:55

Well, i was just looking around and i came here.. im sorry to hear about this, ive never experienced anything like this but i can surely put myself in your shoes and know how you feel.. I believe god has a plan for all of us, im sure one day u will see her in heaven. keep your head up.. i was listening to I'll be missing you by Puff Daddy and it reminds me of this... Im a 15 year old guy and im not that emotional.. but this made me sad.. Ps. stop drinking, u needa clear head so u dont do suicide! we are here for u.. i guess u can cry it out.. if sure there will be better days up ahead

William The Smasher · Sep 03, 2005, 02:06 AM // 02:06

thus far i have never been brought to tears by the written word, but this thread....my god, how moving. i am crying at my computer now. whenever one of my family members is complaining about our situation, i direct them to this thread and they shut up. i am from new orleans and may have lost material items, but lord, i am so sorry for your loss. you will be in my prayers.

Antilles · Sep 03, 2005, 02:50 AM // 02:50

Zehly- It's great to see you keeping your head up during this whole thing, each day brings new things, and though I've just met you online, you sound very strong and I'm proud of you

If you ever want to just talk to anyone, i'd be more than happy to! All my contact info is in my profile, and if not keep us updated on the forums, because this thread is an inspiration!

William The Smasher · Sep 03, 2005, 03:40 AM // 03:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antilles

Zehly- It's great to see you keeping your head up during this whole thing, each day brings new things, and though I've just met you online, you sound very strong and I'm proud of you

If you ever want to just talk to anyone, i'd be more than happy to! All my contact info is in my profile, and if not keep us updated on the forums, because this thread is an inspiration!

very true. i believe you have inspired us all, and like antilles said, if you need someone to talk to...

Soul Shaker · Sep 03, 2005, 06:05 AM // 06:05

Sorry if my post that was just deleted wasn't supportive enough, however, i will post this only once more, and will try to filter it out a bit...

Even during the hurricane, probably the only thing she thought of when things were getting bad was you and her family. Be strong, mourn a little, but you need to eventually get past it. You can't live your life thinking about her dying, you just need to remember for who she was. Eventually you will overcome it, and we are here for any support you need.

P.S. to mods:i'm not looking for a ban here, so if you feel neccessary, delete this post, and i will not try this post again..

miskav · Sep 03, 2005, 07:05 AM // 07:05

Sheesh... I dont know what to say...
But my entire guild and I feel your sorrow...
I do hope that you dont do anything stupid(if this is to harsh please mods change it)
And Hang in there. I know how it feels to loose a loved one...

UberRusty · Sep 04, 2005, 02:49 AM // 02:49

Take care, and best wishes.

kelvanor · Sep 04, 2005, 12:00 PM // 12:00

wow such a surreal story, my condolences, hope your doing ok

EtrnalXellotath · Sep 04, 2005, 03:35 PM // 15:35

Everyone mourns in a different manner, I can only hope that yours doesnt take out too much of a toll on you, dear.

I am so very sorry, and will pray for you.